Monday, July 16, 2012

The Girl Code, Part 1

First, I’d like to start off by saying a big thank you to all of you who have been reading my blog so far and have taken the time to let me know your thoughts. For all who have talked to me personally, left me comments here, or messaged me on Facebook: thank you for the encouragement! I love it, and I appreciate you for it.
Second, I also love the fact that any time there’s a conversation regarding male/female interaction, my friends say “I can’t wait to read what you have to say about that on your blog!” If you have a question about something or there’s a topic you’d like me to write on, please don’t hesitate to let me know! You can do an anonymous comment below, email my g-mail account at or message me on Facebook.  
Ok, now onto The Girl Code (brought to you at the request of my roommate J ).
I’ve titled this Part 1 of the Girl Code because, like most things female, the girl code is rather complex. So today I’m just dealing with one aspect, something I like to call the “Back the F Off Rule.”
In general, women have the understanding if a guy is dating or with another girl that guy is off limits. Makes sense right? He’s taken and out of respect for that relationship and for the girl, other girls back off.
During the short time I listened to the radio this morning a male caller asked the question “Okay, I just don’t get this. How come when a girl catches you looking at another girl, they get mad at the girl you’re looking at instead of you?” I understand his confusion. It would seem to make much more logical sense for the girl he’s with to get mad at him for noticing someone else. So let me try to explain to you what’s going on in the girl’s mind.
First, I’ll let you in on a little secret here. Women know how to get a man’s attention. Trust me, we are well aware of how to capture a male audience. We also know that other women have this ability, and we can tell when other women turn that switch on. On the radio, the girls were referring to it as a “vibe.” And the male radio hosts thought this idea was so ridiculous they thought the women were lying. It’s not a lie. The “vibe” consists of a lot of nonverbal communication: facial expression, way of walking, playing with our hair, eyelash fluttering, and that certain look in a girl’s eyes. Other women know exactly what I’m talking about—and can spot it in an instant.
So, let’s go back to the question. Why is Girl A mad at Girl B because Guy A was looking at Girl B? Because Girl B is breaking the Girl Code rule of “Back the F Off.” This rule not only covers overt flirting, but also encompasses “that switch” I referred to earlier. Girls can flip that switch off and on in a second. So Girl A is mad at Girl B for flipping that switch on when it should have stayed off.
Women also know that men naturally look at women. Now, don’t misunderstand me. Roaming eyes are a red flag—there’s a difference between a guy haphazardly seeing and a guy purposefully looking (this would be “roaming eyes”).  And since we know that men naturally see women, we blame the woman for turning that switch on and capturing that guy’s attention. We do so because we know she knows what she’s doing—breaking the girl code.
I would like to point out that there are two types of situations that can happen here. 1: The girl flipped on that switch and broke the girl code. 2: The guy just has roaming eyes and she did nothing wrong (which opens a whole can of jealous worms). Many women can tell the difference between the two situations. Which situation occurred will determine whom she is upset with. And as I said, roaming eyes is a red flag ladies—so tell him to enjoy the view and walk away.

1 comment:

  1. Totally agree that there's a code, but I'm not sure all girls are so tuned-in about their abilities to attract the opposite sex and therefore, though she may have attracted the wondering eye, I'm not sure it's always purposeful.

    That being said, I think there are other factors in play. I have a brother. Seeing what he's been through with conniving women, I'm very protective not only of him, but the men in my life. Even as a girl, for me, it's normally bros before hoes.

    Additionally, we have to consider who the angry female is friends with. Girl A is friends with Guy A and women are relational beings. We don't want to find fault in the person with whom we've invested our trust so, quite frankly, it's easier to find fault in the hoe across the room (Girl B) who's purposefully drawing out guys friends' attention away from us. That skank! =)